A Very Night Valean Christmas
by deandelions
Summary: In which Carlos takes Cecil to his family's house for Christmas. Humor, fluff, some heartbreak, and 3 1/4 tablespoons of murder ensue.


**Hi there! This is my first fanfiction ever, and to be honest I'm really nervous about it, but I felt like I needed to just make a little thing at the top so that you would be sure I am a sentient human being and not a mindless robot. Thanks.**

_Chapter One- Departure from Night Vale_

Carlos hated that goddamn alarm clock.

It wasn't just because it was a sentient being that chose what time to wake Carlos up, or what annoying melody to play in order to do rouse him. It wasn't just because it changed colors or because it was possibly deafening enough to wake the dead from their eternal sleep. It wasn't because he'd spent 35 dollars on it after Cecil begged him to purchase it when they'd been shopping for furniture for their new apartment together. (How could he have said no?) No, it was due to one trivial factor that irked Carlos indefinitely.

It didn't even wake Cecil up.

This wasn't so much of a problem with the alarm clock as just something that got in the way of everyday life. Cecil would wake up an hour late in the morning, tug on neon green shorts and a toga over them (which he would later declare as a fashion _crime_ and how could he _ever_ wear that) and hastily drive off to work. One day he'd been 45 minutes late and had sustained multiple injuries from Station Management- not Strex, the good old one. Carlos didn't want to think about what StrexCorp would do if he was late, so he personally woke Cecil up every morning before going to the lab.

Carlos swore that Cecil was the heaviest sleeper he'd ever seen. He'd just _lay_ there for _hours_, without snoring. And this is possibly the worst thing Cecil ever did to him, _sleep._ Because Carlos could hardly see his chest moving up and down and everything was so eerily quiet and if Carlos didn't know that he was asleep or watched him go to bed the night before than he would just look so _dead_ and Carlos couldn't deal with the mere thought of that- his Cecil being dead.

Carlos pushed these anxieties out of his head as he picked up the black cup of coffee sitting idly on the kitchen counter. He smiled.

"Thanks," he said graciously to the Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lived in Cecil and Carlos's Home. He wasn't entirely sure if she could hear him, but he was elated to see that she was beginning to accept him. She had been protective of Cecil ever since his mother and brother disappeared so long ago, so naturally, when Carlos- a strange outsider that could potentially be dangerous, as could all outsiders- came striding into Cecil's life and apartment, she wasn't very modest about her uncertainties about him. Whenever Cecil wasn't home, she would blast polka music on the stereo, set the toilet on fire whenever Carlos was doing his business, and replace all his lab coats with bright pink rain coats. Day after day he'd wake up to see his toothbrush in the midst of a huge block of red Jell-O until he eventually got ahead in the game and devised a formula to cover his toothbrush with that would prevent Jell-O and other mysterious gelatinous substances from clinging to it. Eventually, after a few months of non-stop conflict, Cecil had written up a peaceful letter to the Faceless Old Woman, asking him to 'Please stop, my boyfriend needs his lab coats to science.' They'd left it in the silverware drawer for her to find. The very next morning, the attacks had ceased.

Now, every so often, he'd get little surprises from her- a new pair of socks after he'd burned his old ones to ashes during an experiment, another stick of butter in the fridge after she'd eaten the last one and even a few cups of coffee in the mornings. They were always pleasant things to wake up to, and he was going to need something pleasant to help get him through today.

Just thinking about that one stupid word made Carlos tense up. _It was today._ There was no more putting it off, no more avoiding it- Today he was taking Cecil to meet his family and spend Christmas with them.

Carlos loved family Christmases- getting to see his siblings again, sitting around a fire swapping stories with his relatives, exchanging presents under the tree- it was all great fun. But Cecil coming with him? That was a different story.

Carlos wasn't worried for how Cecil would react to them. Okay, maybe a little, but have you _seen_ Cecil? He's like a little blob of joy that runs around hugging everyone. (Except for Steve Carlsburg, but that's because Steve is a _jerk_ and an absolute _asshole _and what does his sister even _see_ in that _idiot_?!) He knew that Cecil would love his family- or at least, he was pretty sure of it. He was mostly scared of how his family- more specifically, Dad and Abuela- would react to him.

Carlos had come out as homosexual to his family when he was in Year 11, and honestly, he might have been able to say that it went well if you excluded the part with his father. Ever since Carlos had been a little kid, Jose Ramirez had always wanted him to be like his older brother Andre- a popular, athletic kid who got all the girls in high school and would eventually get married and make lots of happy grandchildren. But Carlos just wasn't that kind of person- he liked science and investigating things and learning and knowing and finding stuff out about things he didn't understand. Oh, and he also liked boys. So when he came out, he was absolutely crushed when everyone but his dad supported him. He was crushed when his dad called him a sinful abomination damned to Hell and announced that he was an idiot for truly believing that he was a homosexual, that it was just a phase. He was crushed for months later when he would hear his mom and dad arguing late into the night because Jose wanted to send Carlos away until he 'got better.' Even though Dad never spoke of it, Carlos knew that he would never accept him as who he was.

He'd never even dared to think of telling Abuela. His father's mother was a very devout, religious woman, and to even think about her reaction terrified him. He'd almost dropped the phone when Mom called to tell him that Abuela was coming this year because she wanted to see who Carlos had decided to spend his life with. Of course, by then it was too late to cancel.

He wasn't scared for the shouting and cursing that would no doubt be brought upon him, no. Rather, he was petrified that his family would start to say those things to _Cecil_, and Cecil… He was so ignorant to the world outside of Night Vale. Homophobia was a concept as foreign to Night Vale as the belief that pens weren't dangerous and should not be outlawed. People tolerated Cecil and Carlos for who they were. They _loved_ them no matter what. Not a single word was said about their sexuality, and if it was, then it was probably from the mouth of that nincompoop Steve Carlsburg. But an event like that was rare in Night Vale, yet a daily occurrence in Carlos's world. Cecil had never been exposed to something as vicious and cruel as the things Carlos had witnessed, and Carlos was utterly terrified to make him vulnerable to it.

Carlos sighed, taking a long last sip of coffee and desperately trying to clear his head. He glanced at his watch. It was 8:30, later than Carlos hoped the alarm clock would go off by. But of course, the clock was a sentient being that made its own decisions. Nonetheless, he was going to have to wake Cecil up soon or the couple would miss their flight.

He trudged slowly into the bedroom, where Cecil lay sprawled across the bed, head buried under a purple pillow. Carlos took a shaky breath, reminding himself mentally that _Cecil is okay, he's here and he's not hurt and he's real and he exists and he loves you._

"Cecil?" Carlos asked, gently patting the shoulder of his boyfriend. The gray fabric of the Dark Owl Records t-shirt Cecil regularly slept in was soft against his coarse hands.

"Mwhawt?" Cecil mumbled back, snuggling under the pleasantly comfortable blankets.

"You have to get up now, querido, or we won't get to the airport on time," Carlos whispered.

Cecil sighed heavily. "Do I have to?" He muttered sleepily, opening his eyes and looking up at Carlos. Carlos nodded, smiling affectionately. Cecil groaned, but obliged and sat up in bed. He yawned sleepily and scratched the top of his head, giving Carlos an adorable sluggish grin.

"Good morning, sweet Carlos," He smiled dorkishly. Carlos laughed.

"Good morning, my Cecil," He replied lovingly.

The couple went through the regular motions of the morning- brushing their teeth (Carlos's toothbrush not covered in Jell-O), getting dressed (Carlos in a red plaid shirt and jeans, Cecil in a white button down with his sleeves rolled up, black pants and suspenders, and a purple tie), and eating breakfast (Carlos made eggs and toast after Cecil's attempt at 'unicorn bacon,' which tasted terrible but which Carlos ate in order to see his boyfriend's beaming smile.) Carlos checked his and Cecil's suitcases to ensure that they'd packed all the necessary items, and then, well… Then they dragged their bags into the trunk of Carlos's car- an older Honda Accord.

Carlos revved up the engine as Cecil took his place in the passenger seat. The boyfriends smiled, their fingers intertwined as Carlos pulled out of their driveway and towards the edge of town. Cecil plugged his phone into the car and dialed up Intern Dana. She picked up on the fourth ring.

"Cecil?" Her familiar voice asked, light and airy.

"Hey, Dana!" Cecil replied cheerfully. A smile broke across his face. "How are things at the studio?"

"Great. I'm just getting ready for today's broadcast," Dana explained. She would be taking Cecil's place while he was on vacation with Carlos. Hopefully nothing too fatal happened while they were gone.

"Neat! And have you-"

"Yes, I've fed Khoshekh already, don't worry," She interrupted. She was looking after Cecil's beloved cat for the couple. At her words, Cecil's face lit up.

"Thank you, Dana! Remember, don't drink the orange juice. Stick to coffee. And.." he lowered his voice before continuing. "Don't let Lauren or Daniel on the show." His voice was grim as he spoke of the StrexCorp employees.

"I won't, don't worry," Dana confirmed. "Now, stop talking to me and go have fun. Don't forget to record something every day! Old Woman Josie will get so upset if she doesn't hear your voice." Cecil had decided that he'd record something every day and send it to Dana so that he could do radio even though he wasn't at the radio station.

"I'll do it. Goodbye, Dana!" Cecil announced joyfully.

"Bye, Cecil," She replied quietly. The line went dead. Cecil turned to his boyfriend, still smiling.

"Carlos, do you want to call Rochelle or Dave?" He asked. "You said before that you wanted to make sure they would wait until you got back to run that complicated test on those complicated things for some complicated reason."

"No, thanks, querido, I told them last night. I'm sure they'll wait," Carlos laughed faintly. Cecil beamed silently for a moment.

He couldn't hold it in any longer. He finally squealed, "I'm so excited! I'm finally going to meet your family, Carlos! And we're spending _Christmas_ together and it's going to be so _neat_!"

"I know, Cecil, I know," Carlos grinned at the shrill, enthusiastic shrieks of his boyfriend and wished with all of his heart that he could also be confident that all would be well.

"And it's just so… AUGH!" Cecil yelped excitedly. At this point, his tattooed tentacles were climbing up his arms and peering out of his sleeves, zooming across his skin as if they were doing a very intricate dance. Cecil looked down at them and sighed. They always got so weird whenever he was happy.

A rather concerning thought popped into Carlos's head. "Cecil, will those still move when we're out of Night Vale?"

"Not much, only if I'm scared or upset. If they do move, it'll probably only be by a few centimeters." He looked down at his tattoos before addressing them. "Pick a comfy spot, because you won't be moving much for nine days." At this, his tattoos receded back to their usual spot under his sleeves.

"So, how are things at the station?" Carlos asked, sparking up one of Cecil's infamous rants.

"Oh my god, you're not going to believe this, but guess what happened yesterday? Lauren said hello to me in the hallway! Can you believe her? After what she did to Khoshekh?" Cecil went on and on, rambling in his beautiful voice. Carlos smiled at his boyfriend's miniature, verbal rampage. He was so cute when he was flustered…

"Carlos? Carlos, darling, are you okay?" Cecil's voice brought him out of his temporary dreamland and back into the harsh pain of reality.

"Oh, um, yeah, I was just thinking… You know, um… Science?" Carlos stuttered as if he wasn't really sure which word would come out of his mouth next.

"You and your science," Cecil grinned. "I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
